Reflection

Visit within a dream

It’s an amazing feeling when one receives a good visit from a loved one or friend in their dream. One can be waiting on a visit and other times one would receive an unexpected visit. Often times a dream usually carries a message whether it’s a warning you must heed, closures, to relay a message, etc. There are people who don’t believe dreams or nightmares exist. Well that’s unfortunate, but for me I’m a strong believer of dreams.

Yesterday in my last post, “Just writing what comes to mind πŸ™„” I was talking about how I was waiting on my mother to visit me in a dream. I received a visit in my dream early this morning around 7:40am when I went back to sleep. However, it wasn’t a visit from my mother instead it was an unexpected visit from my children’s father in other words my ex-husband. I wasn’t expecting a visit at all nor looking forward to one because we weren’t on good terms when he departed from this life. Although I wanted to know why he treated me the way he did.

In the beginning of my dream we talked about my business. He told me I would be successful. I was surprised especially with him sitting in the kitchen of my home with his sister. In the dream he also apologized for taking me through so much, I’m a good mother and that he still loved me. He went on to say our children were in good hands and that I will make sure they were safe. We hugged in the dream and I cried telling him thank you. His sister said “I told you Kamil”. We had stopped hugging and he turned around and hugged his sister. That was the end of the dream because my eldest daughter had woke me up. To be honest I was ticked because I didn’t want the dream to end.

Anyhow the dream was very beautiful and it was a way to start my Sunday. I was in a very good mood. I played love songs while cooking a big dinner as if I was cooking for my ex husband like I used to. Lol πŸ˜‚ For the first time my love for him had renewed. I was thinking about all the good times we had wishing I was still married to him. I also wished that we had worked out our differences in our marriage to make it work. All this time apart, I was still in love with this man. I had no business being with another man especially when we were still married to each other.

When I got with another man he was my rebound relationship. I was using him to get over my husband at the time and vowed to never go back to him. It wasn’t easy though. There was times I wanted to go back but I just couldn’t see myself going back because of all the stuff he put me through. I would tell myself that I’m just lonely and that I didn’t need to go back to someone who put me in the situation the first place.

Not once today I thought about my youngest daughter father because he was clearly my rebound relationship. It took a few years for me to actually love him. He would always say that he was the first man I ever loved when in all actuality he wasn’t.

In closing I am very happy that I received closure from my ex husband. I took a good two and half hour nap hoping he would visit me again. Not only I look forward to visits from my loved ones, I now look forward to his visits. He made me smile today. 😍 I love you too William! Wished it didn’t have to take for you to depart from this life to acknowledge it. Until we meet again please watch over us. πŸ’–

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