Often times we think the grass is greener on the other side whether it’s finding a new job, changing career paths, leaving a relationship, ending a friendship, moving to another state or country, etc. It’s only because we are frustrated with the current situation we are in. We do not even take the time to sit down and weigh out the pros and cons of a new dimension we want to enter.
For example one have been living in New York State all their life and became bored. Mind you they haven’t traveled because they were always working. However they wanted to move to another state just to see what it is like living outside of New York. So they make that irrational move without doing any research. All they did was sold all their stuff and only took their clothes with them. They arrived to the hotel of the state they wanted to move to which is North Carolina. They’ve never been to North Carolina nor they have family or friends living there.
What do you think is wrong with the picture? It could be many things especially if you didn’t plan accordingly nor did your research. It’s not a good idea to just drop everything in New York and move to another state especially if you haven’t tied any loose ends. After a week of moving to another state, you wished you have done your research to save you a lot of time and money. You would find yourself getting lost a few times, spending a whole lot more money than you did upstate. And you realized NC bus lines are totally different from NY when you are used to buses coming every 15-20 minutes instead of every hour.
Had one planned accordingly such as taking a week or two vacation to NC to see what it’s like. Call for jobs down there for an interview as well as for apartment, research crime rates, and most importantly to have enough money saved for at least six to eight months of rent in case you can’t find a job right away. Of course there are other factors to chime in when it comes to relocating such as family and/or friend support.
Another scenario is relationship wise whether it’s a marriage or long term relationship (common law). It’s very common for a partner to think it’s greener on the other side when they feel like their significant other is not giving them the attention they desired. Or it could be they were shown something very interesting that their significant other has never done for them whether it’s a simple gesture or quoting Romeo and Juliet’s. The biggest problem in every relationship is COMMUNICATION!
Partners really have to learn how to talk to each other and understand where one is coming from. Nobody wants a boring relationship with no fun instead it’s all about raising their children together. One probably saying “I can’t wait until my youngest child turns 18, because I don’t have to pay child support, alimony support and maintenance”! They just want to hurry up and move out and live life. Many stay together for the sake of the children and sad to say they know how to tolerate each other.
If possible try observing a couple who has been married for 15 years and have three children. These couples were high school sweethearts. Children had changed the dynamics of the relationship and we all know that. But what most people fail to realize is that both partners need emotional support to be able to survive their marriage. Mom is always tired from caring for the kids to balancing the household. Dad is tired and stressed out because he is the only one bringing in income to pay bills. He tries to find ways to be madly in love with his wife like he used to be, but she’s always occupied with the baby. In other words he’s feeling left out while not knowingly his wife feels burnt out and wishes he could give her a break from her motherly duties. Mind you they have very limited family support but even if they had family support they don’t want people knowing about the problems they are facing.
A lot of marriages don’t know how to keep their significant still interest just like the times when they first attracted them. Saying “Oh times has changed” is not a good enough excuse. You are still supposed to keep your significant other interested. If your significant likes going to the strip club…spending that hard earned money when it can go to bills….you just may want to turn it up a notch and surprise them with a strip show of “You” in the bedroom or at a hotel. You have to be spontaneous and continuously evolving for your significant other to stay interested. Because if you don’t do your job then just imagine some one else will. That’s not a good feeling at all or vice versa.
Stepping out on a significant other is dangerous especially with the way this world is set up with a lot of technology that changes a person’s gender. I have nothing against LBTG community. I actually respect them for being open with themselves as compared to someone who is on the DL. Anyhow a lot is at stake when you cross those boundaries. You really have to ask yourself is you willing to risk it all when a problem can be fixed? Or are you just being stubborn? Stubbornness will get you nowhere but more trouble.
You really have to write down the pros and cons of a relationship. Ask yourself is you willing to learn how to love your significant other all over again. You know that phase, “You never know how strong you are when you don’t have a choice but to be”? I believe it’s something like that but point I’m trying to make is that you don’t know how strong your marriage/relationship is until it has stand the test of times. Every relationship goes through a cycle; I’m so deep in love, he/she on my last nerves, why he/she don’t shower me like the other couples showered each other with loves, I’m done I want a divorce, I’m sorry..the argument was so pointless, love renewed back to I’m so deep in love.
In closing, anything you had worked hard for and invested in whether it’s a job, marriage, relationship, friendship, school, etc you have to ask yourself is you willing to let it all go down the drains? Remember all those years you invested in. Don’t get me wrong if you needed to make some changes because the current situation is very toxic to your health and so forth then don’t feel guilty of all the years you invested. Just take it as a lesson learned and it made you the person you are today.
Not every opportunity is a good opportunity! Have a good night readers.