It’s been awhile since I last posted something. I haven’t been sleeping well. I feel like I have insomnia. Anyhow, I’ve been so busy with life that it actually caught up with me!!! To the point of feeling so overwhelmed that I actually retreated to eating unnecessary junk foods. I would eat nonstop even when I’m not hungry. I haven’t took the time to give myself a break or in other words “me” time.
Raising four beautiful children alone is very difficult especially if you don’t have a support system. But I know I play a role in not having a support system. I say this because I don’t like to ask people for help because I rather save myself from the disappointments. I rather just do what I have to do by any means necessary. It’s a habit that is very difficult to break. I really need to try to kick the habit to the curb knowing that I need help at times just to balance motherhood. All mothers need a break at least once a week for some “me time” so they can rejuvenate.
Well obviously for me my break is when my children are in school. The house is peaceful and I don’t have to hear any arguments. However, my toddler is home with me for the whole day if I don’t have any medical appointments. She is so active that I have to keep up with her since she wants all my undivided attention. My break from her is when she sleeping taking a nap. I would use that time to get things done around the house.
Alright let’s get to the point of the title “Elevation requires Separation”! So much has transpired since last month ranging from relationships to friendships to motherhood. Has anyone ever told you that being at the top is so lonely? This applies to job promotions, creating your business, single parenting making ends meet, etc.
While working on my business plan, I became lonely because I wanted someone to share the same passion and business idea I had. I couldn’t find anyone with that same passion and vision as I. Often times I share with others about my business, they become interested about a partnership but don’t want to put in the work let alone not bring anything to the table. From there I would stop working on the business but not for long. I came to realize that my passion and visions for my business would never be the same for anyone let alone they would not be able to understand it. I had to be real focus and discipline on getting my business plan together. I had to distance myself from people who were hindering my process. It was painful when I had distanced myself from certain people. However I was able to complete my business plan with minimal distractions. Everything was coming together with people wanting to volunteer their time to help get the business off the ground without asking for anything in return! It was amazing how more positive people are coming into my life encouraging me to keep pushing through. It meant a lot to me because I rarely have people encouraging me to strive higher. I would teach myself to strive higher and encourage myself.
Throughout the whole process from distancing myself from toxic people to being the woman I am today, I had to change my way of thinking. I had to think positive and be accepting of people for who they are. I often think about what if they were still in my life would I’ve gotten this far where I’m at with my business, I don’t think so! Knowing me I am often afraid of change and would rather for someone to hold my hands as I go through the change. I realized that will not happen. I’ve been learning to embrace change one at a time. However, I’ve been reluctant to go through this one change of letting go. It’s so painful and I cry about it on and off. I invested so many years only to see it go down the drain based on a lie. They say everything happens for a reason and I truly believed the reason. From there I knew I needed to keep to myself and not let my emotions cloud my judgement. However, I will say I limited my ways in helping people. Honestly it’s so difficult for me to differentiate between someone actually needing help and someone taking advantage of me. All because it’s in my nature and caliber that I love to help people no matter what. But it’s getting to the point of it taking so much from me because I don’t know when to stop.
Right now I just want to read a good book and relax my mind from all the headaches. I don’t see how that’s possible when I have a business that’s ready to get off the ground as well as other projects. It’s much work to do, but I know hard work pays off at the end. I would finally be able to say, “Wow! I did that” just like when I had completed my business plan and cash flow projection. It was an amazing feeling. All those days from working and brainstorming on the project from early morning to 3 am and some times 4 am in the next morning had paid off!! I was so proud of myself. So with all that being said, it is sometimes necessary for you to separate yourself from people so you can elevate. It’s during that time you are more focused, disciplined, as well as getting stuff done in a timely manner! Until the next post stay encouraged and uplifted!