Good morning! It’s a blessing to wake up this morning to enjoy life once again. When I woke up, I said a brief thanks to God for waking my family and I this morning.
As I was thinking about my life and what is currently transpiring, I realized that my family and I are blessed. I just couldn’t understand why when I’m trying to be successful it’s always some stones being thrown at me to set me back. I would feel myself getting so mad if not so worried or worked up. I would feel like giving up because I don’t feel like dealing with the hassle of things/events trying to take me out of character. I just want to do right and be at peace.
In the last post I talked about strongholds. I have a stronghold of fear, doubt, trust issues which all stemmed from I being in foster care and worthless relationships with guys. I addressed those issues, but every now and then it would resurface. Right now it has resurfaced because I’ve relocated to another state for a better opportunity for myself and my children. I don’t know anyone here. It is nerving for me, because I be needing someone to talk to. At my home state I was always someone’s go to person and I would always be distracted. I couldn’t get anything done. Now that I’m in another state, no one could ask me to babysit their children, take them to places, come to the house to vent and so much more. No more than four people called to check on me to make sure we were safe. I thought it would be more especially when I’ve been there for so many people. I was really expecting my biological family to reach out, because I’ve been so loyal to them since day one when I was put in foster care. This feeling took me back to when I was in foster care longing for them but they didn’t reach out. I was constantly rejected and even more so now because my mother is deceased and as I get closer to my success. I realized that they are so busy talking about what’s wrong with me because they can’t handle what is right about me. I know I will get through this feeling.
I’ve been reaching out to others for encouragement but no where to be found. But I realized that everyone can’t give you encouragement/advice like you’ve done for them. I also realized that the encouragements I’ve provided are the ones I needed for myself. We really need to learn how to minister to ourselves. There may be times no one may be around, but just God to listen. I’ve had my own situations with God whether I trust Him or not. I trust Him, but not fully because of how my circumstances are right now. Many times I’ve asked Him to come down from the Heavens to just give me a hug. You ever have that feeling that you cry for Him because you desire for His touch? After all He is our Father. I’ve asked Him so many questions, but I feel like He’s not responding. Maybe it’s because I already know the answers, but I just want to hear it from Him directly.
The Bible says to have hope and faith as well as to be encouraged. I tried to have all those things, but at times they’ve wavered. I find that when I’m in my storm, I don’t encourage myself instead I’m busy helping someone else out in their storm. Now that I’m in my storm away from everyone, I’ve got to learn to encourage myself. I’m learning to be patient with myself. I’m learning to have hope and faith that everything will work out. The Bible says we are what we think. Therefore we need to think positive so our outlook on life can be positive. Although things may not go our way but trust and believe that it will work out for our good. Keep in mind that the devil likes to tamper with our mind and getting us so worked up! Rebuke the devil!! But you have to mean it with your mind, spirit, and soul!! You have to want change! This is not a battle against anyone but yourself. You have to discipline your flesh and sit your flesh down to read the Word so you can feed your spirit!
People may say they don’t believe in God and it can be because they haven’t experienced a significant event for them to realize it was God who pulled them out. Or because they’ve lost someone dear to them. Whatever the reason maybe, just know that God allows a freedom of choice. While we are strayed away, He still waits patiently with open arms to welcome us back. He allowed for things to happen in our lives to become the person we needed to be as well as for some events to transpire to work out for the good. Lastly, I’m a believer but I’m not into religion. Religions are used to control people. Look back to the Bible, you’ll see that Jesus was not about religion. He was about LOVE and ACCEPTANCE no matter the person!
With that being said please be patient with yourself. Speak life into yourself. Trust and believe that everything will work out for your good. Speak life over your ailments, disabilities, shortcomings, etc. If you’re sick don’t speak negatively about your health instead say “I know the Lord is working on my health. I may have this illness because it was probably meant for me to educate those about the importance of taking care of our health.”
I’m hard of hearing and I never pray for my left ear to open up or my ears in general. I’ve come to accept it and I know my purpose of having a hearing loss. It’s to teach those about the importance of taking care of our ears. I’ve been blessed to be able to bridge the gap between the hearing world and the deaf world. Lastly to be a living witness to people that people with disabilities are smart, intelligent, creative and go beyond an extra mile of their capabilities!
Stay encouraged everyone and talk to you soon!