I’m back again to share with you Day 2 of my experiences at the convening in Washington DC. After reading No Pain No Gain initial post, I hope you understand that it’s okay to cry and it doesn’t make you weak. I hope you took time to reflect on your beliefs.
Day two I came to the convening refreshed and ready to work on my business. I felt that I was ready to be effective at what I used do; speaking! Workshops were going good and I was being more vocal. I was determined to shift my way of thinking by constantly telling myself that “I can talk”! I wanted to nail this milestone of conquering that negative belief! I was so over it! I came to think of the biblical story of the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years when it could’ve been an 11 day journey (Book of Numbers in Bible). You’re probably thinking what does the biblical story have to do with anything. It have a lot to do with how we are living our life. I’m about to break it down to you. Just like the Israelites, I was in the wilderness. My wilderness was all the negative beliefs I believed in to define me. God was telling me otherwise and He sent signs my way to help me change my perception of myself but I continued to ignore those signs. As a result I went years wearing a mask like I have good self esteem and all when I’m actually down and depressed. So with that being said take time to address your wilderness or else you will die in the wilderness as a sad man or woman.
Back to day two of the convening when I’m feeling empowered and all. The last workshop of the day took me by surprise unexpectedly.
The workshop expected you to describe your brand which is your story. I’m under the impression it’s my 30 second pitch describing my business, but oh no the coach interrupted me and kept saying “What is your story”? In other words why was I creating this particular business of mines outside of I being in foster care. I had to think because she was challenging me to dig deeper within myself. She went so far by holding my hand and telling me she sitting with a million dollars in her hands to donate to my business and I had 15 seconds to tell my story. She kept looking at her watch while she held my hand for me to speak up.
I started talking about how I was bullied by my ex husband on how I couldn’t talk, next thing I know the tears are coming. I tried so hard to refrain them from spilling from my eyes. At that moment I realized that it was something deeper than I being bullied by my ex husband. I had to acknowledge that I was bullied throughout my whole life; from childhood to adulthood, from biological family to foster family, from school to school, job to job. The lady coach told me to walk to the other side of the table so I could face everyone as if I was doing a speaking engagement. I kept pausing to take deep breaths and crying as I’m trying to tell my story while the coach was standing right beside me with her hand on my stomach as I’m trying to birth this pain out of me. In my mind I reminded myself once again that I came to this convening with expectations and that I needed to release this baggage. Then all of the sudden as I repeated those words that was meant to break me and keep me down, I mustered up the courage “I Can Talk”!
I felt so relieved and I know the devil was mad that I broke free from the biggest stronghold that kept me hostage!! Thank you Jesus!!! I hugged my coach and kept thanking her for helping me to birth that pain! I now have a new meaning to everything in my life moving that day forward.
I’m so grateful and blessed to be given an opportunity of a safe place to release my all. It was the healing that I needed to really look at life differently and to be on the journey of being effective at what I do which is utilizing my gift of “Speaking”! God has given me the gift to speak life because I am “LOVE” which is an action of God towards mankind! The Bible instructed us specifically that we must love our neighbors as we love ourselves! In the book of Galatians we are given the fruits of love, patience, long suffering, etc but the greatest out of all of them is LOVE!
When I came home Saturday afternoon I was emotionally exhausted that I’ve slept the day away reflecting and soaking in all that had transpired at the convening. I was so determined to publish my life story because the book was completed….well there is a change of plans. I realized the book was the groundwork for me to do a self care book along with a workbook. Amazing!!! I feel so refreshed and proud of myself for the first time in achieving my biggest milestone; attacked my beliefs that kept me hostage!!
I came with high expectations and I was not disappointed! My God is good!! I look forward to the next convening in February! I’m so excited!
I encourage you all to take a deeper look in yourself and address whatever it is that’s holding you back from being great! You are beautiful, you are handsome, you can talk, you can run, you can walk, you can sing, you can dance, you can read, you can write and so much!! Replace your can’t (s) with I CAN!!!
Good night Loves,